Talking With Children About Death
Death is Real
We all will experience death. Those that we love and those around us will die. And we ourselves will definitely die. This is simply a fact. Buddhist teachers repeatedly emphasize reflection on impermanence. This awareness includes the reminder that all living beings die–it is the nature of things. In this video, Phakchok Rinpoche once more urges us to think about impermanence regularly. Rinpoche responds to a common question–how should we talk to children about death?
Reflect on Our Own Attitude Toward Impermanence
Rinpoche says that before we explain something to children, we begin by considering our own reactions and experience. First, think about how awareness of impermanence changes us. How do we think about and react to the idea of death? If we really consider impermanence, then we will want to change our character for the better. We won’t then spend so much time on useless activities like quarrels. We often hear of people who dedicate their final period of life to more meaningful purposes.
Before we talk with our children we can consider how acceptance of death might allow us to spend our lives in a more meaningful way. Once we have absorbed this lesson, then we can be helpful when we speak to children. We can take time to be truthful, patient, and gentle as we explain the reality of impermanence.